I Used to Love You

I Used to Love You

December 17, 2019

I love God. I really do love God. However, I do not love the church. I have slightly given up on the church. It is hard to reconcile the trauma that the church continues to give people. I struggle at letting go.

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Wishing Upon Shooting Stars

Wishing Upon Shooting Stars

December 12, 2019

I am a sucker for shooting stars. Sometimes I’ve seen them. Other times I’ve not. We live life in the space of both /and, where we can hope, despite there being no guarantee that our hopes are realized.

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A Quiet Truth

A Quiet Truth

December 10, 2019

The poem read: "In America they kill their children." What if there’s a quiet truth to what this person, and most likely many others, think about our country?

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Putting In

Putting In

December 03, 2019

I find this tussle with ambivalence on-going in my writing life, rooted I know in fear. So, when I’m able, I listen for the voices of mentors. I listen for their guidance and faith as I consider tip-toeing in.

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Put Me to Sleep, Doctor

Put Me to Sleep, Doctor

November 26, 2019

“They put pets out of their misery,” my mother said. Mom then glared at her newest visitor. She continued with, “Why can’t you do that with me?” Mom was stitched together by rows of metal staples. They appeared like the tips of landmines on the battlefield of her abdomen.

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A New Chapter for Ruminate

A New Chapter for Ruminate

November 22, 2019

It is with a mix of gratitude and sadness that Ruminate announces the departure of our founder, Brianna Van Dyke, from her thirteen-year-long tenure as editor-in-chief. 

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Nature Lover

Nature Lover

November 21, 2019

It is difficult for me, and I imagine for many of my generation, to step outside and engage with the natural world in any way without worry. Is this the end? Will we lose it, all of it? 

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Sparrows, Breath, Memory: On Writing and Identity

Sparrows, Breath, Memory: On Writing and Identity

November 19, 2019

I think, sometimes, that we are at every moment, poised between perspectives, and sometimes it is unbearable to have to choose, again, how to look at a thing, ourselves, and sometimes it is freeing and joyful to know we can choose.

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Rooftops I + Fragments V

Rooftops I + Fragments V

November 18, 2019

Seth Clark's visual art "Rooftops" and "Fragments" appears in Issue No. 53: Shelter.

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Imperfection

Imperfection

November 15, 2019

My husband’s scant eight weeks in hospice were the best eight weeks of our marriage. We rediscovered our deep love for each other and I saw the meaninglessness of my striving. Suddenly, there was peace.

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Buttoned

Buttoned

November 13, 2019

Melissa Ostrom's essay "Buttoned" appears in Issue No. 53: Shelter.

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Broken

Broken

November 12, 2019

My sick body is still good. She is still me. She is still wise and strong. My female body—to which others believe they are entitled—is still my home. She is still my power. Our stressed and strained bodies are waiting for us to return to them.

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God Didn't Save Me—You Did

God Didn't Save Me—You Did

November 07, 2019

Teaching has saved me some days. When I didn’t want to get up but had to because there was George Saunders or Sandra Cisneros to read and discuss, I was saved from the pit of Myself Left To Myself that I remember preachers often scaring me into.

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Encroachment

Encroachment

November 06, 2019

John Sibley Williams's poem "Encroachment" appears in Issue No. 53: Shelter.

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Asian Dramas: On Displacement, Vulnerability, and New Perspectives

Asian Dramas: On Displacement, Vulnerability, and New Perspectives

November 05, 2019

When I was growing up, the beautiful people with interesting lives were American or European, like me. Always. This reality remained unexamined for me, as did its implied negative—that it’s a little less desirable to be anything else.

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!Feliz Día de los Muertos!

!Feliz Día de los Muertos!

October 31, 2019

The streets were alive with color, music, and chatter. Many people had painted faces, some sang, others danced, and most of us marched up the hilly street to the cemetery gates. This is how Mexico celebrates los muertos WITH los muertos.

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Lights, Stories, and Celebrating Joy—Diwali

Lights, Stories, and Celebrating Joy—Diwali

October 29, 2019

While I am not particularly religious, Diwali fills me with a strange sense of hope and light and all things new. Being away from home, I even indulged in a bit of worship as my mom taught me how to do it. This is the only festival I am willing to make the compromise on.

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the practice of hope: reminders on how to be (or, contemplative practices against capitalism)

the practice of hope: reminders on how to be (or, contemplative practices against capitalism)

October 24, 2019

Share: meals, music, resources, festivities. Create alternative economies based on generosity and care. Sit on front porches. Feast well, and often.

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Write Around the Mulberry Bush

Write Around the Mulberry Bush

October 22, 2019

At home, my computer dings, illuminating the puzzle of sentences. My fingers punch the keys, tap the space bar, cursor the thesaurus. Cut and paste, insert, delete. Reorder, revise, redo.

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Everyone Else's Emergency

Everyone Else's Emergency

October 17, 2019

 I don’t know which lens to wear to handle the news that the world, as I know it, might be ending in my lifetime. It’s not real, I think, I hope, because it doesn’t seem to be happening to me.

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The Cosmic Ellipsis (or How I Chose to Go to Seminary)

The Cosmic Ellipsis (or How I Chose to Go to Seminary)

October 15, 2019

 It is a beautiful enigma. When, in the presence of a mountain, we must endure its puzzle. It is something greater than us, and everything that is greater than us invites us to rise.

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From Where Does the Light Come?

From Where Does the Light Come?

October 08, 2019

Ok, so this is not from “real life.” It is, I know, biologically impossible for my father and my son to be five years old at the same time. But I imagine it is happening somewhere else, on some other plane.

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Confessions of an Amateur Dancer, In 3 Movements

Confessions of an Amateur Dancer, In 3 Movements

September 30, 2019

Perhaps my favorite lesson from dance is that there are no winners or losers. This helps me re-imagine my life, my community, and the world in terms other than the binary of conventional success or failure. It helps me have patience for being human.

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Yin Yoga and the Practice of Holding Tension

Yin Yoga and the Practice of Holding Tension

September 26, 2019

Common wisdom holds that movement, particularly growth, is best measured by how far you are from where you began. But in yin yoga, you make micro-movements, sometimes nearly imperceptible to the eye. You lay low, commit to the pose, stay with it long enough to listen.

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A Visual Vocabulary for Hope

A Visual Vocabulary for Hope

September 24, 2019

The image of a hand reaching out into the dark encapsulates many of the prayers I have said over the years. In the darkness, I hope for light. I reach out my hand, and I hope that God will take it.

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Theology Animated: Serene Jones’ Call It Grace

Theology Animated: Serene Jones’ Call It Grace

September 17, 2019

Call it Grace is not so much a primer on theology as it is a way of animating it. At its base, it’s a memoir and a telling of Jones’ life story overlaid with a theological lens. The book is full of the people that populate her world: 

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Fire and Grace: Healing Soul Loss

Fire and Grace: Healing Soul Loss

September 12, 2019

My soul loss is healing. “Live with fire and grace” has become my guide. I find that paradoxically to lose oneself in creativity is a way to find your place in life and to make this world a home.

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The Challenge of Storytelling

The Challenge of Storytelling

September 10, 2019

Are we even capable of telling new stories and by doing so changing the social narrative? Stories don’t only teach us about other cultures or help us improve our vocabulary. Stories also teach us about ourselves. They tell us how we can see and understand one another.

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Heliotrope

Heliotrope

September 05, 2019

The siren song of my body cries out in panic, alerting me to the foregone conclusion of catastrophe. Something terrible happened to you, it says. Do not blossom like the dogwoods or magnolias or tulips. Shut up and close down, lest something terrible happen to you again.

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Crossings and Currents

Crossings and Currents

September 04, 2019

Yu-Wen Wu's visual art from the series Crossings and Currents appears in Issue No. 52: In Transit.

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On Attention

On Attention

September 03, 2019

Attention is one of the scarcest, but most needed, resources I have at my disposal. Attention is the seat of love; attention is the basis of compassion. Giving attention opens us up to the wilderness of the other, a frighteningly beautiful prospect.

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Home After All

Home After All

August 29, 2019

What must it feel like to have roots in a place? Roots that reach down into that particular soil in that particular place, generations deep? What must it feel like to know where you will be buried when you die?

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Tethered

Tethered

August 27, 2019

God of the stars, God of the endless black, God of the silence, God of knowing and not knowing. God in the questions and fears of childhood. God of it all. It's a mantra of my heart that beats with the movement of the mystery. 

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8oz of water

8oz of water

August 23, 2019

Robin Gow's poem "8oz of water" appears in Issue No. 52: In Transit.

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Finding Road, Not Water

Finding Road, Not Water

August 22, 2019

That day, her screaming was so bad, I thought about it. About what metal and concrete and the slow-fast glide into a solid sheet of water would feel like. How nice it would be if everything just got a little bit quiet.

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