How to Find Water (For Thieves)

How to Find Water (For Thieves)

by Ananda-mayi dasi March 03, 2020

AA violent order is disorder; and
B. A great disorder is an order. These
Two things are one.

Wallace Stevens wrote that. He convinced me to stop reading. I don’t mean entirely. I just mean I tend to read a lot of advice. For example, I’d probably skip this piece based on the title, “How to Find Water” because the first two words would put me off right now.

But then there’s the thing about thieves.

The river Yamuna is dark, and it steals snake-like through sacred Vrindavan, Krishna’s home. It’s said to be Krishna—God—himself.

I can never find water when I’m looking for it.

But then there’s the thing about thieves.

There’s a feeling that doesn’t follow advice. There’s a feeling that only follows that cunning dark current, the one eddying under everything. It was that feeling that led me into the woods—it was that "great disorder.”

I’ve lived in my house for six months, but until today I’ve avoided the woods because the woods hide things. And only thieves hide their treasures.

Krishna is a thief. A good thief. He steals wonderful things—milk and kisses, butter too. Love, actually. That’s why he’s dark—and radiant; he tries to hide his goodness in the night.  

I’m a thief, too, but a different kind. I’m always looking for water, always looking for advice about how to steal God. I work in daylight, in a “violent order.”

But Krishna comes anyway, in the night—a dark snaking river thieving through the soul’s intractable woods.

Today I found water, in the woods behind my house.

Today I found water!

Or—water found me, when I wasn’t looking; one saint said it’s enough to enter the temple invisible.

Yes, these two things are one.

 

 

________

Did you miss MaDear and Grand"Daddy"?

 

 

Photo by Robson Hatsukami Morgan on Unsplash




Ananda-mayi dasi
Ananda-mayi dasi

Author

Ananda-mayi dasi is a former nun in the Hindu tradition of Gaudiya Vaisnavism. She lives near Saragrahi, an ashram in the forested foothills of the Blueridge Mountains, where she spends her time tending her Deities and writing.



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